we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
