oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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