Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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