So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
