margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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