I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
