i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
