I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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