Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
