so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
