I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I look better un-naked...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
