Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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