I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
