you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
