Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So vagazzling was a success
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
