After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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