i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you still have your period?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
