You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize