Are we in a gay sports bar?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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