so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
