the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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