so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
