He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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