Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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