The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
