this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
