Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
