Screwed.edu
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
