I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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