wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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