Just mADE A PArabola og urine
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
God, I missed his penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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