I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
