If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
