2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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