I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
