I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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