He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
