before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
