Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
