I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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