They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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