And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize