it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
