I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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