This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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