i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
