IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
