I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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