Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
