She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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