clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's even glitter on my cock...
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