This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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