I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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