Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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