I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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