no, he came in my armpit
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
