His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
