did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
