ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
